Poem: For Caroline

I slept with a piece of malachite on my bedside table last night.  

I had a dream we found each other in a field, embraced, and talked about how much we missed each other.

 

You told me you were doing well.

Better than before.

You would be okay.

and I shouldn’t worry.

We got into a car and started driving

towards a sky of purple and orange. 

 

You decided to pull over next to a field where a fence has closed it in. 

You told me this would be a good place to put the art we made together. 

So, you got out of the car, took a bumper sticker sized piece of paper and tacked it to a fence post.

 

The art said one word: surrender. 

 

We got back in the car. 
and I woke up.

 

Poem: If Diamonds Were Ocean Shells

Artisan spine
    possessed shapes brawling under anxious sheets
    curves dissolved and melting into disruption

Break for me
    as if diamonds were ocean shells
    as if graphene were glass
  
I would drown in this
I would bury myself alive in this  
I would burn slowly inside of this
I would brick up inside of his

chest
and spend my days
    serene between
his sweet skin
and his triumphant insides.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                        Poem born from: s is for his spine.

Poem: Envy For The Bells

The birds fill their lungs
with envy for the bells.

The gentle and stale ringing -
stealing away the whispers of the morning,
cracking the silence with false and corroded songs.
Disarming the melodies they’ve waited their whole lives to sing. 

They perch like polite rivals - 
Heads buried inside of their feathers - 
praying to the miles stored within their wings - 
the sun will someday know the truth
about the war waged for morning glory hymns.

 

 

 

 

 

Poem born from: similar sounds ringing from far away

Poem: Changing Seasons

We scavenged in cindered circles  
and collected pieces of house flesh  
brass frames clutching fire eaten photographs,
glass and melted porcelain,
reclaimed ruins we never held close enough.   

We are warped clutter  
seizing and contorting from exposure to violent heat.
We are melted and molded
and twisted and turned
and trusted to a life we didn't understand.  
Our mistake was not believing in this hell we had been making.  

Soot and ash and embers  
orange and red and suffocating slow.

 
How could we not have known  
the season would change

and leave us to cherish madly


What was left of the love we gave  
inside of our burned down house.  

 

 

                                                                                                                                                       

 

                                                                                                                                                      Poem born from: a slow autumn burn

 

 


 

Poem: Be Selfish With Your Heart

Be selfish with your heart
Clutch your chambers close
Break only in case of emergency
Stay gold no matter the market value 

Be selfish with your heart
False healers in search of hollowed honeycombs
Will hunt you down
And prey upon
your sweetness
your kindness
Until it dries up and dies
leaving your sapless skeleton behind
to remind all of us
of how we will never survive
believing
the nectar of unconditional love
is what keeps one alive


You know better, baby, than to believe the tourists
From flower to flower with no pollen for the queen 


Be selfish with your heart
Break the deals you made
with your past selves
in your past lives  
So you can barter with new devils 


Put on the black lipstick, baby
And show him the color of his lungs


Be selfish with your heart
You’re so vain
He probably thinks your veins are about him 


You’re an ocean, baby
He can't tell you anything about the tides


Be selfish with your heart
Eat your own and steal the rest

 

 

                                                                                                      Poem born from: The Tower card

Poem: I Don't, I Dig

I don’t look up to the sky to find you

I dig a hole and I look down inside

 

don't try to find me in music I never liked

or the way heat smells on skin after being outside

or in how monsters pray

or in the pronunciation of my name 

 

I would

rather disappear

than be

akin to

your sins 

 

never forget how I set you free

please forget how I set you free 

                                                                 

 

 

 

 

                                                            Poem born from: dear john letters from my limbic system

Poem: A Forgiveness Audition

I smelled the leaves

with the bottom of my feet

and walked wet and wasted onto our stage

 

You can see

where I slept deep in the field grass

my body crushed

a pattern of muted motion

burying all those permanent nights

you never

came back.

 

Skin-and-bones

I raise in rotting linens

haunted and unsettled 

I am un/alive

in every inch of

shadowed fabric.

 

Trying to breathe

stabbing to let the outside in

holes in my holiness

aching to seep out

and into some

hallowed ground.

 

Decay makes demands

aching to be felt

begging to be held

limbs at my side

I proceed to lose my mind

while I pry open my ribcage

to commune with

your absolutes.

 

I begged

I pleaded

keep your arms high above your heart

keep your circulation in tact while the ground

screams apart.

 

Instead you fell to your knees

collapsing and clambering for relief

to begin auditioning for

my forgiveness.

 

Pounds of flesh

I tore from the best nights

my at first sight

my held you tight

and faded into you full

every time you felt compelled to confess

you were in disguise this whole time 

I paid you not to believe

you weren’t as love-thin as you promised you

wouldn't be.

 

I dug in deep

laid quietly

and missed you

while you stayed above ground

to begin auditioning for

her forgiveness.

 

 

 

Poem born from: A silent summer recovering from fall. 

Haiku: Hatches

Tragedy hatches
Rotting inside of its shell
Decay yourself whole  

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                       

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                            Poem born from: Heartbreak breakfast waffles

Poem: I Slip Into My Ugly

I used your toothbrush  

it tasted like cigarettes 

I’m the flavor of you now

 

I slip into my ugly  

before I lie down next to you  

crawling polite on  

satin hands  

and knees  

fracture like you’re watching me 

 

praying for rain isn’t as  

seductive as you make it seem  

 

roll over once

roll over twice  

betray the door  

and sleep on the floor 

 

Hell took notes on tonight. 

 

 

 

Poem born from: Talking jealous in my sleep.

Poem: 1/7 Confessions

Unfinish/ed.
I pushed too far.  

You pulled away.

 

A wilderness of sentences I didn't end.
Language I couldn't locate until you left our town.

I make sure my feelings don't bother you.
I break all the way in.
I can go to a dark place just like you can.
I can't take it personally you want so desperately to be gone.


It's not about me
and somehow, I'm the only one to blame.
I'm assigned to the something that holds onto you.

 

You'll be

your free

soon enough.

 

 

 

 

 

Poem born from: Sleeping with my shoes on.