Poem: A Forgiveness Audition

I smelled the leaves

with the bottom of my feet

and walked wet and wasted onto our stage


You can see

where I slept deep in the field grass

my body crushed

a pattern of muted motion

burying all those permanent nights

you never

came back.



I raise in rotting linens

haunted and unsettled 

I am un/alive

in every inch of

shadowed fabric.


Trying to breathe

stabbing to let the outside in

holes in my holiness

aching to seep out

and into some

hallowed ground.


Decay makes demands

aching to be felt

begging to be held

limbs at my side

I proceed to lose my mind

while I pry open my ribcage

to commune with

your absolutes.


I begged

I pleaded

keep your arms high above your heart

keep your circulation in tact while the ground

screams apart.


Instead you fell to your knees

collapsing and clambering for relief

to begin auditioning for

my forgiveness.


Pounds of flesh

I tore from the best nights

my at first sight

my held you tight

and faded into you full

every time you felt compelled to confess

you were in disguise this whole time 

I paid you not to believe

you weren’t as love-thin as you promised you

wouldn't be.


I dug in deep

laid quietly

and missed you

while you stayed above ground

to begin auditioning for

her forgiveness.




Poem born from: A silent summer recovering from fall.